What Hurts the Most
by Kousagi Angel
Summary: In pain, Usagi leaves Juuban in hopes of moving on from the break-up, but will she be able to stay away from the one she loves the most? Usa/Mamo fic
1. Chapter 1

What Hurts the Most

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, in any way, shape, or form. I am just a fan =) and I also do not own the song What Hurts the Most.

Chapter One

Usagi's POV:

I don't know what I did wrong; I thought we were just perfect for each other and in love. Maybe I'm just being naïve, but I believed in our love and believed it could survive anything. But obviously, I was wrong. I should have known that he only loved me because I was Serenity, not just because he loved me for me. It still hurts though and I'd do anything to get it back. I still have to see him everyday when we're fighting. I don't know why he still bothers to come and save me every time, 'cause it just brings more heartache for me. I still have to see him when I go to Crown or when I run into him. Running into him is the worst, especially when he treats me like I'm the scum of the Earth. Why couldn't we just have died during the Silver Millennium? At least then I would have died happily with knowing that my Endymion loved me. Why did we have to be reincarnated?

It hurts when I see him with some other girl and I try to ignore it, but I just can't. Last month was a drag at Motoki-oniichan's birthday party. I wanted to be there to celebrate with all my friends and wish Motoki a happy birthday, but Mamoru came with his new girlfriend. I gave Motoki his present and wished him a happy birthday then I left. Not that it helped though. I felt Mamoru's eyes boring into my back as I left. Once I was out of view I found myself running to the park. I still had a good few hours before I had to go home, because my parents thought I was at Motoki's party.

I sat down under one of the sakura trees and looked over the crystal blue lake. But the water only reminded me of his eyes and I broke down in tears. I must have looked pretty pathetic, sitting under the tree, crying my eyes out. I didn't care what other people thought of me though; I only care about Mamoru, my Mamo-chan... my Endy.

Once again I find myself under the same tree and overlooking the blue lake. But this time, I'm in a somewhat better mood then before. In my hand is a letter from my school, it holds my future. Inside the letter is an offer to go to another school, to be an exchange student. Although everyone only remembers my bad test score from the past, I'm actually a pretty good student, I can get straight A's if I tried, but who would notice what I do? I'm just the klutz who never does anything right, right? The person, who doesn't deserve to be a part of the Sailor Senshi, let alone their leader. Heck, I'm even smarter than Ami-chan! But, it's not like anyone would notice that.

I used to be at the top of my class, well, until I became Sailor Moon. I'm not like Ami-chan who was born with a high IQ and can cram all that knowledge in her brain, okay? I don't like studying, at all. And in the beginning it was either give up arcade games for senshi duties or give up studying. Guess which one I choose??? At the time I had a crush on Motoki and wouldn't give up the world to see him at least once a day, so sue me. And look how that turned out! I ended up with Mamoru-baka and then got my ass dumped just because I wasn't up to his expectations! Well, you know what, he wasn't up to mine either. To find out the most obnoxious man on the face of the Earth was Tuxedo Kamen _AND _my prince, was horrible. So, not only was I crushed to find out about Motoki's girlfriend, but I also had to deal with the fact that the man that I had been fighting with for months was the person I was destined to be with.

I took a deep breath and clenched my hands, in an attempt to calm my frazzled nerves. After calming down I reopened my eyes and let out the breath I had been holding. Despite all that though, I still love him. Though, I'm not sure if it's my feelings for Endymion or if it's real, which is why I'm leaving. Maybe, if I stay away from him I'll be able to decipher these feelings and then maybe find out whether they mean anything. I know that one day I'm going to have to return and that it's probably going to come back and bite me in ass, but I have to try then maybe, I can move on.

So, I have made up my decision and am leaving. My parents don't think I should be leaving home at such a young age, but they approve of furthering my learning and are with me a hundred percent on this, well, maybe ninety percent... It may not be the best way to get over my recent break-up and may be a completely stupid idea considering the fact that we are in the middle of a fight, but I really don't care. Besides, I'm pretty sure the others can handle themselves without klutzy me around to make things worse. And Tuxedo Kamen won't have to come and save me anymore, and I'll no longer be a burden to him or to any of the senshi.

I sighed deeply. I won't be able to get on that plane if they find out what I'm doing. I even went through the extra precaution to make sure my talking cat, Luna, didn't find out either. Which was fairly hard considering she lives with me and is with me at all times, but I did it. I looked at the watch on my wrist. The plane leaves in an hour. I picked up my bag and ran to my house, but on the way I ran into Mamoru, literally. Of course I had to run into him. Why now? I didn't need this now! This could mess up my whole plan!

"Watch where you're going." He said coldly.

Now this is just making me angry, I'm sick of his freakin' cold attitude towards me! What the hell did I do?! "No! Watch where you're going, jerk!" I pushed him to the side (using my extra strength from being a senshi) and knocked him over. I stormed off towards my home and picked up my running again. Damn, that felt good! I wish I had a camera to take a picture of his face! It was classic!

When I finally reached home, my dad was already packing my suitcase into the back of the car. He closed the trunk and then turned to me. "Ready to go kiddo?" He asked.

"Yep." I replied.

My mother and my brother, Shingo came out of the house and headed to the car. I got in the back with Shingo and then we were off. A few minutes into the ride though, Shingo wrapped his arms around my waist and started crying into my shirt.

"Usagi, I'll miss you." He sobbed.

I was a little taken back by his act of kindness, but nonetheless tried to comfort him and put my hand on his head and ruffled his dirty blonde hair. He really is a great kid when he needs to be, but you know we're siblings, we're supposed to fight. It's like an unwritten rule that siblings fight, but in truth you both love each other deeply and would do anything for the other. He is a pest, but he's my pest.

"I'll miss you too, Shingo-kun. Write me, okay?" I said to him. He nodded mutely as more tears came from his eyes. "Shingo, don't stain my shirt." I said teasingly. He sat up and rubbed the tears from his eyes.

We arrived at the airport and my dad got my suitcase out of the back. My mother kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly. I'll sure miss them. My over-protective father, my loving mother, and my brat kid-brother. It's going to be hard living without them on my own for a while, but at least I'll finally be free.

"I love you Usagi. And if you ever feel the need to come home, just do it." My mother said.

"I will mom." I replied.

"Be good sport, I always knew you had it in you." My father said.

"Thanks dad." I replied. We walked to the gates, but my family can't get past the security point because of some stupid restriction. "I love you guys! Bye!" I shouted before going to find my gate. The people were just boarding the plane and I hurried up to the gate and got in line. When I got there, I handed the lady my ticket and after she scanned it she passed it back to me.

"Enjoy your flight." She said cheerfully. A little too cheerfully if you ask me, but nonetheless, I smiled at her. I walked on up to the plane. My heart is pounding in my chest and feels as if its about to burst out. Anxiety washes over me and now I'm not so sure about my decision. But, before I can change my mind, I'm already in my seat and strapped in for the long ride. I looked out the window at the place that I had called home since the day I was born. I'd sure miss it. But, there's no turning back now.

The plane starts to take off and lifts off the ground. "Sayonara, Mamo-chan." I whispered as a few tears escaped my eyes.

Mamoru's POV:

This was never the way I wanted it. I love her, I truly do, but there's no other way for me to protect her. If you had a choice between being with the one you love or saving the one you love's life, which would you choose? I don't like seeing her in pain each day knowing that it's entirely my fault she's that way. I don't like the fact that I am the cause of her pain and suffering. Do you think I like taking some other girl out when I could have my perfect Usako? Usako is my everything and I love her with all my heart.

One day, I'll tell her the truth and then maybe one day, she'll forgive me. I can only hope for that though. Heck, I wouldn't forgive me, but maybe, just maybe, she could see it in her big heart to forgive me. God I hope so.

As I'm walking, I see her running my way, obviously not watching where she is going, as usual. On cue, she runs right into me.

"Watch where you're going." I said a little bit more coldly than I had planned.

I watched as she glared at me. "No! Watch where you're going jerk!" Before I could do anything she pushed me to the ground then stormed away. I got up and stared after her. That was definitely not what I was expecting. I was sorta expecting her to mumble a sorry or something and act as if nothing happened. But I wasn't expecting her to act like we used to when we first met. I shook it off and headed towards my apartment.

Too bad my apartment reminded me of her though. It's like her scent was permanently imprinted into everything. Every time I'm in my apartment I imagine her there with me, running through the hall or sprawled across the couch lazily.

I sighed deeply as I entered my home and trudged to my balcony and let the cool air soothe my aching head. As the minutes progressed though, I began to feel a horrible ache in my chest. It was as if someone was ripping me from the inside out. Suddenly, I realized what it was. My link to Usagi was being severed. I started to panic and tried to find the link again. Each of the threads that held us together were being cut one by one, each cut more agonizing than the last. Then the last thread was cut, completely separating me from her.

And then, it was dark…

Groaning, I sat up. _'What time is it?' _I thought vaguely, as I turned to look at the clock on the wall. _10:04 PM. _Suddenly, there was a loud banging on my door. _'Who could it be at this time?' _I thought angrily, before getting up and walking towards the door. When I opened it I saw a very scared Rei. She was shaking and looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"Mamoru-san, do you know where Usagi is?" She asked. Her question hit me like a ton of bricks.

"No, is there something wrong?" I asked getting nervous.

"We don't know where she is. Luna hasn't seen her all day and when she got back to Usagi's home, she was gone and so was all her stuff." Rei said. "When we tried her communicator we didn't get anything."

"Have you tried talking to her family?" I asked.

"Mako-chan and Minako-chan are doing that right now." She replied. "God, I hope she's okay."

"Don't worry, she's probably doing fine." I said soothingly. The last thing I needed was a girl having a break-down on my doorstep, when I was having a break-down myself.

The communicator on her wrist went off and she quickly answered it. "She's gone." A very bleak voice said from the other end. I'm guessing it was Minako.

"What do you mean she's gone?!" Rei asked.

"She's just gone." Minako repeated.

"Where did she go?" Rei asked getting angry.

"Her family wouldn't say. They just said not to worry about her." Minako said.

"How can we not worry?! She's our princess and leader!" Rei yelled. "We have to find her!"

As the girls continued on with their conversation, I headed back into the living room and slumped down into my couch.

_She's gone_. Minako's words replayed in my head.

What have I done?

--

Hmm… so what do you think? Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

What Hurts the Most

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon! Though, I'd like to, but I doubt Naoko Takeuchi would sell it to me. :'(

Okay, I'd like to say that I'm really super duper sorry for the late update. Please, don't hate me. I had a major case of writer's block on this story and seriously couldn't come up with what would happen next. So, once again, sorry and I'll _try _to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, try being the operative word.

Just to clear things up; the Senshi will all be 17 (well except Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, and Hotaru, but I doubt they'll be in this fic anyway) and Mamoru and Motoki will be 20. Now that that's cleared, on with the story!

Rei's POV:

Tears gathered in my eyes as I glanced at the picture of Usagi and me, but I refused to let them fall. Sniffling, I hastily rubbed at my eyes with my sleeve. How could she do this to us? We needed her; Chibi-Usa needed her! And she abandoned us when we needed her the most. There was no way we could win this war without her. How did it get to this? Why couldn't she just tell us what was bothering her? Weren't we her friends?

I knew she was upset over Mamoru, but had it really gotten to the point that she could no longer bear it? So horrible that she had to leave without telling us? Didn't she know that we'd get worried sick over her? God, I don't even want to think about what could happen to her while we weren't there to protect her. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to her.

Weeks had already gone by, and still there was no sign of her, hell, it's like she was wiped off the face of the planet. Not even Ami-chan's computer can trace her. We tried asking her family, but they always reply saying that Usagi-chan was perfectly fine and that we should stop worrying. But, how can we not worry? She's our leader, our princess, but most of all, our friend. What kind of friends are we; letting her sulk in her own misery instead of helping her through it?

_Knock! Knock!_

Startled, I looked up to see Yuurichiou peeking his head in through the door. "Rei-san, you have a visitor." He announced.

I blinked. There shouldn't be any visitors and we didn't have a Senshi meeting either. Deciding I should go greet the person, I stood up from my bed and walked over to the door. "Thank you, Yuurichiou." I said. He bowed before quickly leaving, probably to do one of Oji-san's many impossible chores/missions. Sometimes I wonder why Yuurichiou still puts up with it. Shaking my head, I walked over to the front of our shrine, but there was no one there. I looked around for the person. Perhaps they left, but why?

"Kasei…"

My heart skipped a beat. That voice, I knew that voice. Whipping around, I turned to face the person. He stood a few feet away from me and was smiling brightly at me. I felt my stomach lurch. "Y-you…" I stuttered unable to find my voice. Immediately I reached for my transformation pen.

"Wait, please!" He said, holding up his hands. "I mean you no harm."

"Like hell you don't! What the hell are you doing here?!" I yelled angrily. "I swear, I'm going to-"

"It's about the princess!" He blurted out. I stopped. Usagi?

"W-what do you know about her?" I asked shakily.

"Lady Serenity with the power of the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou has bestowed upon us a second chance. A second chance at the life that was stolen from us by Beryl and Metallia. We, the Shittenou are forever in her debt and will aid you and the Senshi as much as we can." He informed me. His eyes softened and he smiled sadly. "And I am also here to ask for your forgiveness." He added. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please, hear me out. I never meant to do those things to you, and I regret having done them."

I blinked. My heart clenched painfully and I felt tears in my eyes. For some reason, the look in his eyes made me feel as if my heart was being torn apart. He sounded so sincere, so…heartbroken. But, how could that be? This couldn't possibly be the same man who had tried to kill us a year ago, the man who so mercilessly attacked innocent humans without so much as a care. Unconsciously, I stepped towards him and gazed into his own tear-filled blue eyes. Hesitantly, I reached up and touched his cheek.

Distant memories of the past flashed across my eyes. The painful memories, along with the cherished ones all came crashing down on me. The world swayed and I felt myself falling into his arms. I heard him gasp and he secured his grip around me. "Kasei?!"

"Jedeite…"

Kunzite's POV:

I shook my head as I watched Jediete picking up Mars and carrying her back towards the shrine. I warned him about this, but he didn't listen, as always. Sighing, I turned back to the other two. Nephrite looked calm as usual, but I could tell he wanted to rush over to Jupiter as well. While on the other hand, Zoisite was openly fidgeting and pacing back and forth, obviously wishing to go see his beloved as well.

"_Kunzite…_" Zoisite whined, "Now can we go see them?" He gave me puppy-eyes and I felt my stomach lurch, and I quickly turned away from him, shuddering.

"I'm sorry, Zoisite, but, I can't look at you right now." I admitted, unable to shake the nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach. Memories of when me and Zoisite were supposedly in "love" filled my head and I paled. Nephrite snickered and I glared at him.

"Aw, come now captain, you know you love him!" Nephrite said, smiling broadly. Zoisite had a puzzled look on his face. You know, for being one of the smartest people on the planet, Zoisite sure could be stupid.

"Shut the hell up or I swear I'll rip your freakin' neck out!" I threatened.

"Ohhh… I'm shaking!" Nephrite mocked, chuckling. I lunged for him and grabbed for his neck.

"Stop! Jedeite's coming back!" Zoisite announced. I stopped choking the brunette for a second to look up, and sure enough Jedeite was walking down the pathway towards us, with a dejected face. "What happened?" Zoisite asked anxiously.

"Well, that guy with the messy brown hair hit me over the head with a broom if that's any consolation." Jedeite replied, rubbing the back of his head, smiling sheepishly. He heaved a sigh. "But, Kasei probably won't be waking up for a while."

"I tried to tell you." I reminded him.

"I know, but I just couldn't help it. I just had to see her." Jedeite said. "She hasn't changed a bit and she's still as beautiful as ever." He sighed dreamily and his eyes glazed over.

Once again I felt the need to go see my own princess. To hold her in my arms, to kiss her lips, to run my fingers through her golden tresses. God, how I wished I was with her right now. But, I knew now was not the time. I would have to wait to see my beautiful princess once again. I could only hope that she would forgive me.

"Okay, let's head back." I ordered.

"Aww… but Jedeite got to see his love, why can't we?" Zoisite asked, pouting.

"Because, it isn't the time yet to confront them." I replied. "Plus, Jedeite was being an idiot and snuck here. Now, unless you want to be punished like Jedeite here will be, you will follow my orders."

"Fine." Zoisite huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

Mamoru's POV:

"Mamo-chan, what's wrong?" Chibi-Usa asked worriedly, looking up at me. My heart clenched painfully from having to hear her call me by that name. I tried to smile at her while I just shook my head.

"Nothings wrong, I'm fine." I reassured.

Chibi-Usa frowned. "No you're not. You've been acting weird ever since Usagi disappeared. In fact everybody has. What's going on?"

"We're just sad that Usagi's gone." I replied.

"I thought you didn't like her." Chibi-Usa retorted. "You always told her to go away and to grow up." The guilt crept up my spine again and I had to look away. Yes, that's right, it's my fault that Usako left and that she might not be coming back. It's my fault she was hurt so badly and that she felt she needed to leave. Why? Why did it have to be this way? Why did I have to have those dreams?! "Mamo-chan?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I snapped, glaring at her. Chibi-Usa's eyes widened as she backed away from me. Realizing what I had done, I gasped. "Oh, Chibi-Usa, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that." She started shaking as I neared her. Quickly, she ran away from me to the guest room and then slammed the door close. _'Crap.' _I cursed, hitting myself on the head. Now what was I supposed to do?

--

Sorry for the shortness, I couldn't write much else, but I promise the next chapter will be longer! Possibly… grr I need to re-watch the second season, despite the fact that I'll probably cry. Gah! I hate the second season; you have to deal with the break-up, then the pink haired spore, and the then stalker extraordinaire! (No offense to people who like Diamond. I mean I kinda liked him at the end when he sacrificed himself for Usagi, but otherwise I thought he was kinda creepy). Oh, and just to warn you I might possibly make Chibi-Usa incredibly OOC in this. Anyway, if you enjoyed this chapter, please review! You know, that button at the bottom of the screen, yea.


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